Mom guilt is real.

Where we have a lot of conversations and sing-a-longs.
It was a simple question - "Does he stack blocks?" Followed by "Do you play blocks together?". We were at his 15 month check up at the pediatrician's office. I gulped. "I don't know." And then I proceeded to back pedal in a "I really do pay attention to my child" kind of way and offer up that he loves knocking them down but he hasn't really played with blocks much lately at home. And that's all true. They're out in a basket, free for the taking but he's been far more interested in his play kitchen, trucks, books, and tool bench over the last couple of months. What's also true is that we really don't have that much time together, and the time that we do have, on week nights anyway, is filled with cooking, eating dinner, unpacking and repacking the days' bags, bath time, bedtime, etc. Weekends are different and I cherish them, but we're still much busier than I would like. With two parents who work full-time (plus some) outside the home, it's a reality that we only see our kid about 2.5 hours every weekday. It makes me incredibly sad just doing that calculation.

But this was our choice. And I love my job; I really really do. And I love his child care provider; I really really do. And I love being a mom more than anything. Still, I couldn't help but feel that twinge of guilt when the doctor asked about the blocks, that maybe I'm not "in it" enough. Maybe I'm not making the most of the small bits of time we do have together. And that possibility breaks my heart.

I'm really looking forward to spending several days with him over the next couple of weeks while child care is closed for vacation. I feel like we need those days to reconnect and I'm promising myself to make them meaningful... not full of errands and plans, but full of time, fun, snuggling, and play together.

So yes, the mom guilt is real. And for the record, I discovered he does stack blocks.... Like a pro.

2 comments:

Ann DeMarle said...

Ok just saying - bring Lucas for some of that time!!! We would love it! Parenthood on both sides of the fence is so full of guilt. Youa re awesome, he is awesome, Jay is awesome. How our children react is a sum total of who they are - and then we figure out the puzzle pieces - for the next 50 years :-)
However the most IMPORTANT rule is do all with a loving heart. And that rule trips us all up in the day to day.

Luisa Sherman said...

Sweetheart, Life is filled with all sorts of activities and "time" to do stuff....sometimes its play, some times its planning...some times its eating, bathing, dressing. This is life...and all important parts of it.

Lucas is always learning, having new experiences and fun at the same time. Quality time is you, Jay and him...and the great people of all ages at day care--no matter what the activity or where you are helping to shape him in positive ways you can not even imagine.

 

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About

Sarah Jerger
Burlington, Vermont
Mom, wife, professional + maker of things
Likes: good food, design, travel, DIY + craftasticness
Family blog: jergerfamily.blogspot.com

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